Absolution

Today I went to a fashion show with my boss, as we work at a lifestyle magazine and this week is fashion week. She made a comment on our way in (or possibly out, I can't remember) that in a way it was sort of sad that all this was going on even though it was the anniversary of September 11th (would it be flip of me to say that we should consider a more appropriate name for this event?). My response was that the entire ethos of post-9/11 America was that the perpetrators of the destruction would not succeed in forcing us to change our lives. Which did not really seem to convince her. However, I stand by my belief that the entire nation does not need to dress in sack cloth and ashes, tear at their hair, and wail in the street every year come September. Though September 11th is indeed the anniversary of a tragedy, every day is the anniversary of someone's tragedy. Indeed, every day is the setting of someone's tragedy. Which is not to say that the destruction of the Pentagon and the World Trade Center should be ignored, but rather that to say that we must remember on the anniversary of a tragedy is artificial and sterile. I remember my grandfather or my pet frequently throughout the year, but rarely on the exact date of their deaths (infact, I don't even remember the exact date of my grandfather's death). Rather they are with me when I feel them with me, and so there are no self-recriminations when on a certain day of the year I do not feel sad. And I didn't feel sad today. It was a beautiful day, full of promise, and I am not a bad person for feeling that way (and neither are you, should you have felt similarly). In truth, dwelling on this day only because people died is not the perfect way to honor the memory of those who passed anyway. Better to go out and make positive change. If going to a memorial service helps you to make positive change, more power to you. But if all it is for you is paying lip service to a grief you feel obligated to have, then who does that really serve?